Sunday, August 28, 2011

Here is the link for Jack Layton's funeral. CBC has the entire 3 hour service posted on their site.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

For Jack Layton as he is remembered today

We are the ones who will never be broken
We are the ones who survive
This is the sound that brings us together
You are the one by our side

And through it all, your spirit's alive
And through it all, your spirit's alive

You are the memory that lives on forever
The shadow that stands by our side
This is the sound that keeps us together
We are the ones who survive

Farewell my brother
You're off to the big rink in the sky
The good lord's between the pipes
And you've got Bavis and Ace on the wing

We are the ones who will never be broken
We are the ones who survive

And through it all, your spirit's alive
And through it all, your spirit's alive

This is the sound that brings us together
You are the one by our side

~ Your Spirit's Alive by Dropkick Murphys

Friday, August 26, 2011

I just finished reading Wonder, the third book in Robert J. Sawyer's WWW Trilogy. I loved these books. I haven't actually read anything by him that I didn't love, but it had been a while since I've read any of his books. I find his books are not challenging to read, but they have so many neat ideas in them, that I keep coming back for more. Also, there are several times in his books where one of his characters will voice an opinion and it just leaves me with nothing to say but "oh slam". I seem to agree with most, if not all, of the opinions expressed in his books, and everyone likes reading things that they agree with.

All of the books I have read by him all seem have one theme in common and that is that humanity does have the ability to better itself and that we will eventually get there, we just need some help along the way. They all involve some kind of paradigm shift that makes us stop, shut up and think. That is definitely something that I think humanity needs.

So I would definitely recommend this trilogy and anything else written by Robert J. Sawyer.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Also, and I am about to totally geek out here, but I love that Wil Wheaton is the person that he is. I had the biggest crush on him when I was younger (okay maybe I kind of still have a bit of one). But you know a lot of times celebrities whom people of the preteen and teen variety have crushes on turn out to be not the best examples of humankind. But Wil Wheaton is totally awesome and that makes me happy.

He has been blogging for 10 years now. I have been reading it for almost that long. It was a happy day in my teenage life when I stumbled upon it.
Physics is kind of fantastic. I haven't given physics much love lately. So there you go physics. Sending my love...

Monday, August 22, 2011

RIP Jack Layton

Today is a sad day for Canada. Jack Layton did a lot for this country and took his party to heights that have never been seen before. His dedication will not be forgotten by this blogger. My thoughts and support go out to his family.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
- Jack Layton


Speaking interpretation
A conversation can take a sudden turn
And reaching the point of violence
Because your silence left you without a hand to hold

Your past will lead you on to make...

Making a final judgement
Based on your bias will never bring you forward
Terror should never guide you
For even the fearful can take a beating in the end

Suspicion gets you nowhere

Those who denounce a way of life
Will stand alone
Left to atone their social blunders
If you gun down the messenger
You guarantee that he will be made
Into a saint
A martyr of the free word

I will say
I will say what I think
I will do
I will do what I say
When liberty seems out of reach
We'll fight for our freedom of speech

Requiem aeternam dona eis,
Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis

Missing a simple context
A mental weakness can throw you out of balance
Listen, respect each other
Then you'll discover
It mustn't always end in hate
It's not too late for mercy

Those who denounce a way of life
Will stand alone
Left to atone their social blunders
If you gun down the messenger
You guarantee that he will be made
Into a saint
A martyr of the free word

-Martyr for the Free Word by Epica

Friday, August 19, 2011

I only have one more shift left this week. The transition to night shift has gone a lot easier then I thought it would. I like working this shift. I am not going to lie, I like having the lab to myself. For me, work doesn't get much better then when I can sing along with the music I am listening too because there is no one around to hear how horrible I am. My lab is rather far away from anyone else as well. You have to travel down two long and narrow hallways to get to it because it is on the "other side" of the building (we have both the first and second floor of one half of the building and only the second floor of the other half, I am in other half). Although currently I am also house sitting, so I think I am slightly lacking in people contact. I see no one when I get home and then only very briefly see people while at work. It takes a lot for me to miss being around people, but I think if it was like this indefinetly then it would be a problem.

Incidentaly, I don't think the spell checker works on this computer, so I am sure there are spelling mistakes in this post. I hate that spelling is not inutitive for me. It's rather frustrating and right now I am too lazy to google the words that I suspect I am spelling incorrectly. There are some people who frown on those who are too reliant on spell checkers, but I guarentee that a lot of those people are the people who rely on calcuators to do basic mathematics.

I feel like forward progress is being made. The ipod I am currently using is called the shuffle disquised as a nano because it is really old and no longer allows you to select what you want to listen to, it just works by putting it on shuffle. Also, I do not want to be touching it to change songs when I am wearing gloves covered in acid and who knows what else. So I can not really control what I am listening too. My point in this rambling is that there are certain songs that were hard to listen to right after it happened, but not anymore. Considering how much emotional attachment I have to the music I listen to, I consider this to be a victory.

I am so not going to sleep enough today. I should be in bed right now, but as usual there is something more interesting to do on the internet. Oh well, this being Friday and all. Somethings never change, even when I am on night shift.

Speaking of it being Friday, I have a phone date with my besties. I'm excited:)

So in the middle of writing this post, I felt the need to brush my teeth. While I was do this, I felt something in my mouth that I assumed was a bristle that had fallen out of the tooth brush (I hate it when that happens), but when I spat, it was in fact a fruit fly. I am trying hard not to speculate about the possible entry routes of the fly.

Twitter is such an interesting place. I'm kind of addicted again.

Also, this weeks episode of The Guild was killer. If you still have not checked it out, DO IT.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Tonight I am starting my first night shift. I don't know how I feel about working nights. I took the job because it was the first opportunity I got in my field and it is close to home. It will be good on one hand because I like working by myself. But then on the other hand, it means that I will not be able to meet very many people, since there are only a couple of us working. I do have the instrument lab completely to myself though:)

Can't move an inch
But for the act to
Leave fingerprints

Freedom farewell
Look in the lens
Answer the questions
Are you a threat?
Nec plus ultra
After all the grabbing, it's time to bite the dust
Leave behind the breaches of my trust
Cleaning up the mess is up to us
Non plus ultra
Now that all hands are tied
We're panic stricken
Wealth out of sight
Demolition, the damaged pride

The price of ambition
Nec plus ultra
The current system leads to profit seeking deeds
Leave behind the traces of our blood
Now the course for change is up to us
Non plus ultra

After all the grabbing
It's time to bite the dust
Leave behind the breaches of my trust
Cleaning up the mess is up to us

Access is now denied
We're panic stricken
Wealth out of sight
Intuition, forgotten guide
The price of suppression
Terre eos vi
Augearis
Perde eos vi
Nobis imperium
Can't move an inch
But for the act to
Leave fingerprints

Freedom farewell
Look in the lens
Answer the questions
Will you behave as required?
When we think the end is here
With nearly all faith gone
There is hope along the way
And there a new age dawns

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those
who falsely believe that they are free
[Goethe]

Nobis victoria
Non plus ultra

Now that all hands are tied
We're panic stricken
Wealth out of sight
Demolition, the damaged pride
The Price of Ambition

Access is now denied
We're panic stricken
Wealth out of sight
Intuition, forgotten guide
The price of suppression

Can't move an inch
But for the act to
Leave fingerprints
Freedom Farewell
Look in the lens
Answer the questions
Will you behave as required?

When we think the end is here
With nearly all faith gone
There is hope along the way
And there a new age dawns

Chasing our addictions we're stunting our growth
Once we get rid of this ballast we'll be able to
Restore the balance and distribute our wealth

~ Resign to Surrender by Epica

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Trying to switch over to a night shift schedule is kind of a bitch. This first week on nights is going to be brutal.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Order of the Stick

I realized that I have never mentioned one of my favorite things on this blog. It is a web comic called Order of the Stick. It is excellent, all must read. It features a band of adventurers travelling through a world loosely based on D&D. I started reading it in February. It has been going on for a lot longer then that and there are 800 comics up right now. There is also another comic on their website called Erfworld. I haven't read it yet, but plan to when I am finished getting through all of OOTS.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I think I should bane myself from facebook. I have been creeping people that I really shouldn't be creeping. No, not that person. He deleted his facebook account around the same time that he started telling people that I had left him for someone I was working with (which clearly I should have); all the while, still living off of me (it's really too bad I hadn't left him when he had started telling people that, it would have saved me a lot of money, not to mention a job, a place to live, all my stuff... but I digress). The people I have been looking up are people from the past. There were a number of no starts in my earlier days. Most of them, I haven't had any contact with after the no starts were over. But I should not be looking them up because life doesn't work that way. It's easy and fun to imagine that it does, but it doesn't. There are no second chances at a life with someone. I think my problem was that the kind of guys who I was attracted to are not the kind to actually take the initiative with a girl who was interested in them and I was way to self conscious back then. I could only try so much before I couldn't take it anymore and would just give up. But there are a couple who I probably should not have given up so easily on. It is so easy to fall into thought patterns like that, but it probably isn't a good idea. I spent so much time during my marriage trying not to think about things like that, that now that I am free to without feeling guilty, it is hard not too. I wonder if life would have worked out better if I had done the things that he started telling people I was doing? Don't get me wrong, I think things are great now. But I didn't leave until the end of May and he started telling people these things at the beginning of December, I could have saved myself a good 6 months of shit. If only the initial suspected source of the rumors wasn't so crazy, then maybe they would have been a little more believable.

Katrina told me to listen to a band called Zombie Girl and so I am. She is rather entertaining. I don't normally like industrial bands due to their lack of lyrics and differential sound, but this girl is pretty good. There are lyrics involved and she has a myspace page. Also, she is apparently Canadian.

Also, season 5 of The Guild started recently. New episodes are up of Thursdays. All of the seasons are now up on their website, so it is very easy to start from the beginning. Watch, love.

Today at work, I passed my pipette test. So now I am allowed to pipette. Cause you know, I didn't pipette like 50,000 times at my last job.

Life is just so weird, you definitely do not know where you are going to end up...

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

It's weird

It's kind of weird working in a lab that is not Maxxam. Everything is the same yet very different. It is so much easier there too. All I do is run the instruments. There are people to prep the samples and people to look at the data. Which is kind of disappointing because looking at data was my favorite part. The sample volume is a lot higher so there is a lot to do. But I don't see staying past the length of my contract unless my job changes before the year is up.

Also, I would like to point out that there are cute boys at my lab and it doesn't matter what I think or do about that.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

So I have rediscovered the library and it is awesome:) Large amounts of love. I can't believe I had stopped going to libraries. Mostly I stopped going because if I really wanted to read a book, then I just bought it. But I am realizing how uneconomical that is. Then there was also the library book sale every year in Edmonton where I would accumulate a large number of books (how can you resist for only $0.50 per paperback?), many of whom never got read. Since I do not have any of those books anymore and no money for buying books, I rediscovered the library. I don't think I am going to go back to my previous ways. I do miss my books (more then a certain person, although less then my DS), but owning them is so cumbersome. The goal for the near future is to travel light.

Do not even get me started on my DS. I mourned it's loss far more then the lose of my marriage. (Possibly because my marriage, or rather the person I was married to is the reason I lost it). My DS was my constant companion. Always providing entertainment and always faithful. It was my reward to myself for all of the hard work and overtime that I put in during the big audit that I had at work a while ago. I feel like the theft of that was one of his biggest betrayals. That may sound silly to others but it's because he knew how much it meant to me.

Oh consequences

There are so many random consequences of that relationship. One of them popped up today. Nothing big, it just reminds me of how angry I am with all of it and how much work it is going to be to truly start over.

Theme Songs: Dying Star and Remember by In This Moment. (The lyrics to these song were posted in previous posts, check them out)

The music I listen to has no shortage of songs to help deal with the situation that I am in.
9/10 is not an accurate statistic, stop using it as if it is. Don't be lazy, check your facts.

Friday, August 05, 2011

You can take the girl out of the lab...

...but you can't take the lab out of the girl. I must admit, I was rather excited to be back in a lab again. I really am a lab nerd.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

On a side note, since I do seem to have a small readership (although a lot of it I suspect is to check out the potential gossip) you should all check out this web comic. It is called Galaxy Raiders. A totally awesome person whom I worked with at Tim Hortons is one of the creators. Read it... and then follow them on facebook.
"I've often thought that if people with the highest IQs stopped doing what those with the lowest IQs wanted them to do, the world would be in a lot better shape."

~ Caitlin Decter in Watch by Robert J. Sawyer

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I am starting my new job on Friday. I am pretty excited. I think I need contact with some more people. My family is great, but they are only three people. Most people at Tim Horton 's don't count because I don't have anything to talk to them about (with a few awesome exceptions). Katrina and I found a couple of people to play D&D with (oddly enough and slightly against character, we put an ad up on craigs list about two months ago and finally got a response two weeks ago. But seriously, how else do you meet other gamers in a smallish city with a not very large gaming community?) and we had our first session on Friday. It was good. I am glad to have found people.

It will be nice to be learning again and doing something a little bit more challenging. I hope it will be more challenging. The type of MS that they have is different from what I am used to and their element list is far more extensive. Even though lab work is repetitive, I still found it interesting. Probably because I really like numbers and finding relationships between them. I just wish I could analyze more complicated things. Data coming off of an MS isn't the most complicated thing out there.

So I just googled LefthandedSocks because I wanted to see if I still came up first. I do, but there is now a lefthandedsock out there. Huh... I think I have been around longer though because I have been blogging since 2005 and the earliest thing that I can find from lefthandedsock is a youtube account started in 2006.

Also, I have never looked at the stats tab before (I know quite a statement from someone who just one paragraph ago stated that she really likes numbers) but apparently I have a bit more of a following then I thought. Weird and cool. I creep people's blogs (not to mention their facebook and twitter accounts) all the time, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that people do it to my blog as well. Katrina and I were recently talking about how it sucks that when you creep someone on facebook and find out something that you have in common, that it is not really acceptable to bring up in conversation that you learned this while creeping their facebook. Everybody does it.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Over the last few days (which might have something to do with the fact that I was at one of my cousin's weddings), I have been thinking about choices that I have made in the last about 9 years, that I consider to have been turning points. My life could have been completely different if I had chosen the other option.

The main one that I have been thinking about came after my first year of university. A certain set of officers got moved to a city with a university that I had been accepted to out of high school. I considered long and hard about switching to that university. The reason is probably obvious, they had a son that I was rather interested in when we lived in the same area during high school. My thought was that if we lived in the same city, we would get together and everything would be awesome. And I would still be going to a really good school, so no problem there. But there were several arguments against doing this; I didn't actually know that anything would happen between us, I went to UofA because I wanted to do it on my own and moving back to Ontario for a boy seemed silly and he is sick sometimes and that scared me because I didn't know how long we would be together. Clearly, those arguments won the day and I stayed in Alberta.

It's not that I think my life would have been so much better had I switched schools, I know that there would have been other challenges that I would have had to face and I don't know what would have happened. But at this point, it is hard not to look at the choices I have made and wonder what it would have been like if I had chosen differently.

I think I choose the easy path too often. Choosing to be with Jon seemed like the choice that would make life easier and if he had been the person that I thought he was, it would have. But there were several points during that relationship where there were choices to be made that would have changed things but I always chose him. And keeping to my theme of honesty on this blog, it really was because staying with him was the easier choice. I'm not saying I didn't love him, I did love him, but I didn't love him enough for that to be the only reason I chose him. I knew what I was doing in the moment, but I put those thoughts aside and focused on building the easy life that I wanted.

I think somewhere along the way I lost myself. I didn't used to think like that. I've always struggled with not being good enough for members of the other sex. I never had a boyfriend during high school or even university, despite large amounts of effort on my part. The effort was never reciprocated and so I never felt good enough. Loneliness is a powerful thing, it definitely has the ability to change thought patterns.

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clocks screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As there falling
Tell a story

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Don't say I'm not in touch
With this rampant chaos
Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare i built my own world to escape

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot stop for the fear of silent nights
Oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light

~ Imaginary by Evanescence