Friday, September 16, 2011

Here is a website that I recommend.

How Games Saved My Life.

The website is run by Ashly Burch, one of the creators of HAWP. You know HAWP, I told you all to check it out not to long ago and since you all listen to my recommendations, you are by now familiar. For this website, people submit their stories on how video games helped save their lives, or changed for the better, certain aspects of it. With all of the negative stereotypes surrounding video games, it is a really great change to see the positive. Gamers all know how fantastic video games are, but the general public just has no idea. Poor sad, non-video gaming community:(
So here's what I don't get. Why, despite all of what we are told, all of the warnings and past examples, do women still get themselves into situations like I was in? I've heard the horror stories, I knew all of the things that I should have done to protect myself. But I still ended up where I am today. It's not like I didn't do the things that I should have done, at first. But slowly he chipped away at all of the defences I had in place until he controlled every aspect of my life. How the fuck did that happen? How did I become so complacent and apathetic to my own situation? Sweet lies from him and my own arrogant, that could never happen to me attitude sure landed me in a place I never thought that I would be. If everything had happened all at once, it would have been glaringly obvious that something was wrong. But little by little, I learned to trust and forgot how to ask to right questions. Or any questions at all. We, as women, need to stop doing this. But unfortunately, we never learn until it is too late. We need to stop being prideful and arrogant. We need to stop looking the other way when the man in our life does something that doesn't seem right. We need to listen and learn from the stories that we have heard from other women. We need to learn to ask for help. And we need to stop caring what other people will think.

Women have come a long way, but there are still too many stereotypes that we hold to and that is what gets us in trouble.

Can't you hear me screaming, once again?
Voices you can't hear
Because you are consumed and in content
With everlasting greed
Don't you see me on my hands and knees?
Begging and bleeding
You're smiling as you bite the hand that feeds,
But will you never see?
Always wanting what your eyes can't see
Needing what your arms can't reach
Thinking you are in need
Always hearing what your ears can't hear
Feeling what your hands can't touch
Thinking you are incomplete
It was never enough that I gave to you
All of the horrors that you put me through
How can I make up my mind this time?
This is where I will draw the line.
Sacrificed my life to be with you
Why did you leave me?
There is nothing more from me you can consume
Cause you are incomplete
Everlasting need
Would you please?
Answer me
And make me complete
Everlasting greed
Would you please?
Set me free
Fullfill all my needs and make me complete
It was never enough that I gave to you
All of the horrors that you put me through
How can I make up my mind this time?
This is where I will draw the line.
Never again will I be with you
No promise eternal carrying us through
I've finally made up my mind this time
This is the end, I've drawn the line
Never enough to devour your greed.

~ Never Enough by Epica

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Okay folks, if you haven't started watching The Guild, like I have told you to do a million times here, then start now. This season is incredible. Nerdom has collided and it has been epic. So watch this weeks episode, recognize all of you favorite people and then watch the rest of the series. Then, maybe buy a t-shirt because everyone loves a t-shirt. They have come so far since their humble beginnings, it is great to see.
This morning at work, two people commented that I looked tired. And they are not even people that I know. I don't think this is a good sign. The dark circles under my eyes do appear to be getting a little darker every day. But I feel fine. Night shift seems to be going well, but maybe it is not agreeing with me as much as I think it is.

Dance with Dragons is so good so far. Although my favorite character has not had a chapter yet, so I am not sure what that means. With George R.R. Martin, it could mean anything. If he kills her, I will not be impressed in the least.

As good as the book is, it is hard to make myself read instead of playing Final Fantasy IV DS. Such a great port for that game. It is beautiful. People make fun of DS and people who like DS because of all the crap that is out there for it. And it is true, there is a lot of crap, but there is also an amazing amount of old school style RPGs and those are what I game for. Give me simple graphics and turn based combat over high def hack and slash any day. Making decisions is much better then random button mashing. But don't get me wrong, I do also enjoy a good old button mashing, kill everything in sight experience once in a while.

Also, I don't think I have mentioned here how much the previews for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim are blowing my mind. The game play demos are fantastic. This is going to be such an amazing game. It is coming out this November 11. I am picking it up.

Well, must go to bed. Although, I will probably end up staying up to late reading Dance with Dragons.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The copy of Dance with Dragons that I reserved at the library finally came in! I am excited to be reading this book. It is a big book though, I have no idea how I am going to finish it in the three weeks that I have. I am thinking I am going to have to cut down on 3DS, XBox and internet time. That is probably a good thing though. Also, I guess I am hoping for no overtime over the next three weeks so that the 2 hours between me getting to work and actually starting work will be free for reading. (No, I don't get to work that early on purpose, the bus that goes to my lab stops running at 9:30) Hopefully I can finish it. I really don't want to have to buy it, since I do not own the rest of the books. Buying one book just starts me down a dangerous path of too much stuff that I do not want to go down.

Monday, September 12, 2011


So I bought a 3DS yesterday to replace my stolen DS. It's red and so pretty. I think I may be in love. Now hopefully Nintendo actually puts out the awesome looking games that they promised at E3 this year. There are still a large number of DS games that I am interested in that I have not played, so I am good for a while.
Within Temptation was amazing!! This was very possibly the best concert that I have ever been to. Sharon is beautiful and has such great stage presence. They did a fantastic mix of songs from their new album, The Unforgiving, and their old stuff. It is so satisfying to love a band's albums and then see them put on an awesome concert. I would see them again tomorrow if I could. I hope they come back to Canada soon. Although the last time they were here was 5 years ago. I really hope I do not have to wait that long to see them again.

The Unforgiving came out at a good time for me. The theme of the album is quite appropriate for my current situation. Not to mention the fact that it is a really good album. You need to check them out. I don't care what kind of music you are in too. They will blow you away.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

And one more thing...


I can't believe that this concert is finally here.
There are two things that I love that need a shout out. I think I may have mentioned them on my blog before, but I am not sure.

If you enjoy video games and video game parodies, then these things are for you. I would like everyone to check out Mega64 and Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin?. They are hilarious. Watch and love.

Also, the guest star on The Guild last week was amazing.
Still so angry. Forgiveness is over rated because you can never forget. Also, it is hard when you do not have anywhere to direct the anger. I can't be angry at any of the people around me, and nor would I want to, because they have done nothing but help me. Violent video games also don't help. Maybe I need to find more violent ones. I must admit the ones that I play do not have very much violence in them at all. Too bad I don't have any contact with the one person who deserves the anger. But, even if I did, he wouldn't care. The way he treated me, he obviously didn't think that I was a human, worth any kind of respect or consideration. He didn't care about my feelings then, he definitely would not care now. What a complete douche. I guess my only hope is that without me there to encourage a some what healthy lifestyle is that he gets a lot more fat then he already was. Which, I think has a good probability of occurring. Also, his genetic history for obesity related diseases is less then stellar. So that's encouraging. It may seem kind of pitiful that my revenge is possible obesity related diseases, but since that is one thing that I thought that I could change about him to make him life better, I am kind of happy that I never succeeded. I never could get through to him, and now I am glad.

So, I still have a lot of work to do. But that is okay. I like the way things are going right now. Starting all over again has been kind of crazy. It is kind of lonely. I have always found it hard to make friends because I find it really difficult to talk to new people. Also, the shift that I am working is not very conducive to making friends. It is nice having my family close and Glenna is not too far away, so I get to see her once in a while. Glenna and I were recently discussing how the older we get, the more difficult it has gotten to find people we want to be friends with. Once you leave university, it is so hard to find people with the same interests as you. That is so true. I'll say it again, you never know where life is going to end up.